Provided as a starting guide and/or reference point to negotiations. Ask these questions before you tie someone. Volunteer this information before someone ties you.
- Do you understand that this experience may leave you in an altered mental state? Do you have anyone that is here with you that can take care of you afterwards? Do you want them to be a part of this negotiation?
- Are there any existing relationship agreements you have which we need to be aware of? (E.g. limitations on touch)
- When did you last eat? Are you low on energy or too full of food?
- Have you had water recently? Do you need to use the bathroom before we start?
- Are you sober? Any drugs or alcohol recently consumed? Have you played recently?
- Do you have any injuries I should be aware of? Any joint or medical issues? Are you on any prescription medication? When was the last time you were in the ER?
- Do you have any prior experience with {activity}? If so what/how much?
- Do you have anything in particular that you want to get out of this scene? How do you imagine this scene looking/feeling?
- Do you know what a safeword is and how to use it? (Clear communication is far more valuable than a safeword)
- Are there any places on your body that you would like me to specifically avoid; with the rope, with hands? (Genitals, face, injured areas)
- How do you feel about incorporating erotic elements into the scene? Do you have a concept of what that might look like? (Be specific, even if it’s uncomfortable)
- Are you aware that the scene may leave marks? Are there places that marks are ok/are not ok? Do you know if you bruise/mark easily?
- What kind of aftercare would you like? (remember that people other than the person tying can do aftercare)
- On a scale of 1 to 10 where 1 is boredom and 10 is where you would safeword, roughly how intense do you want this experience to be?
- Is there anything else I need to know?
- Do you have any questions for me/us?
Need help negotiating at a lab? Let a facilitator know and we’ll support you.